Wondering

Life can be such a pain sometimes you know? I know I should be blessed to live every day but what’s the point if you can’t have what you want? Sitting down thinking about certain people made me realized you can’t have everything you want no matter how hard you try even if you be nice to them. True they’re just friends but you wanted more. You kinda realized you were lonely. Lonely enough to fall for anybody that cross your eyes. Being lonely is a hard battle if you ask me… you try to fight it off trying to be around with different people or staying home watching random t.v shows and etc… it can really be a pain, it’s like you fighting demons because you wanna push everyone away from you and be lock up in your room all day unless you cooking or using the bathroom or leaving for work. You sit there and wonder when it’s going to end, who going to make it stop or will this pointless battle last forever… I have been out of place lately, my mind is gone 24/7 but I realize I just have to act my normal self, and that stay chilling at all times. Hanging with people who has good vibes, try to get my life back on track no matter who I meet, try to force myself to go out more and make new friends who can lift you up, all these things come to your mind so so easy, but it’s up to you if you wanna make that change. True certain people can make an impact on your life and they leave you for no reason( and no I not talking about my ex) got nothing but love for her…. but in the mean time, I’ll see how this battle go. Thank you for reading if you did.

Blast From The Past #2

I made this post back in 2011 after a break-up. This was also one of the first writing I’d share with my friends. Suprisely they all like it and understand it well. I hope you do too and I wish you a good night. Oh yeah, the post was named Things You Shouldn’t Hear!

To me, I don’t think you should hear things you don’t want to hear about that person you really like or even good friends with. Some people just jealous and like to start rumors or the stuff they say can be true if you don’t know that person very well or you just saw it with your own eyes and you actually hang with this person to find out what they can do. sometimes you sit back and wonder, how many people did he/she done this to before you. And if they easy which most people you will meet today are. I wouldn’t do nothing to them, even though you do..but you just can’t, you half to find more about them before you can even go that far with them, even if you like them allot. Then you realize you got love for that person and you try to be there for them if you can. Ya’ll both the same and can understand each other and hearing stuff about them just have you thinking?? should you keep trying? or go find somebody else to like. Or keep trying, but if they choose somebody else over you, just move on no use of trying.

Then again if they are known for being a player and playing with people hearts and trying to talk to everybody they see, which you will see in this small city we live in. I pretty sure you have noticed it with your own eyes, but you don’t ask questions, you just sit back and chill until something come up. But when a person says oh yeah we are messing around, she does that and this, even your own family try to tell you.  You’ll be curious, you think to yourself. How many people did they mess with before they even mate you, and what type of stuff they have done to them, but then again it’s always a saying, don’t trust nobody. Whoever they trust, did a fail job, if they talking behind their back and telling you these things but you witness it for your self. What more can you say, they just don’t have true friends if you ask me and sometimes you wonder why they call that certain person names and etc but then again they also a lair and you half to watch out for that. But true friends are very hard to come by, but when you recognize someone as being a true friend then you should do your best to hold on to them. Just because someone has been in your life for a long amount of time does not necessarily mean that they are a true friend, which she/he didn’t even learn yet.

Gulity?

This word matches my week in a way. At my job I usually get plates from the dietary workers.

You see, they are not allowed to fix plates for the employees which suck because the food they don’t use. They throw away which is so dumb to me. My job can feed a lot of people if they didn’t do that and they don’t even feel guilty about it.

My friend Katie is a captain and she is very nice. Monday I ask her for a plate but it was busy as hell that day so I told her to fix the plate and leave it on the counter so I can come back and pick it up later. 

Steve someone who is higher than her in the kitchen saw the plate and probably threw it away because later that night I went to look for it and couldn’t find it. I didn’t know Katie message me on snapchat telling me what happens. So I knew why it wasn’t there.

I felt guilty until the next day when I find out she didn’t get in trouble. Usually, the employees get fired when they get caught sharing food with other people. I told her that next time I’ll just wait and take the plate just to make sure this doesn’t happen again. 

There some things in life that are out of our reach and you may feel guilty about it. Just know it won’t last forever. Today is sunny, might go for a good walk… maybe because it’s hot lol but I do wish you a good day!

Guilty“>Guilty

Assumption

It sucks that a lot of people assume stuff these days. I feel like people love to assume things that not even true and I see that from my facebook.

Like a couple of weeks ago, a new friend I made who disliked me for a whole year and I never knew why. I use to talk to her friend who told a little lie that I slept with her and left. 

You know that is definitely true but I left for a reason. You’re not going to stand me up three times and expect me to see you the same. After the first time, I should have stopped there but nope! I was foolish lol. I stop treating her the same at work and she told all her co-workers. You can say she had a big mouth on her. 

I became cool with some of her friends over time and most of them told me why didn’t like me at first. I told them the truth and said you shouldn’t assume things just because someone said something. There are always two sides to the story. 

Me and this girl still talk but as friends. I never told her that I was cool with most of her friends and that they told me what you said but those so call friends slowly drift away from her besides one and she doesn’t even know why… well I think so.

I can tell a lot of stories when it comes down to this word, I myself don’t even assume stuff no more. I’ll most likely ask because that’s the right thing to do. Yeah, you can lie right in my face but that’s just life Ya Know?

The sun is bright today and I hope it stays that way. I wish you a good day!

Assumption“>Assumption

Disappearing In The Shadows

Another word I hardly ever hear, but when I do I think of my job. 

I kinda like that my uniform is dark blue. You’d think it was the color black until you standing right in front of me. It allows me to disappear in the shadows at work when its night time or in dark areas around the property. 

It’s so easy to hide from people and watch them from far to make sure they not doing anything suspicious. I remember last year I was just chilling watching one of my Facebook friends live. To my left, I kept seeing a bright light moving around in the kitchen area and there she was, a worker was stealing food. I watch her the whole time and she didn’t notice me at all. I didn’t tell on her but I did tell her the next day to stop stealing lol.

I remember a couple of months ago a resident had call security about two people were getting to close in the parking lot. I was on duty at the time so I went to go investigate. I got off the jitney and walk on foot. Luckily for me, it was a little dark in the area so I was able to disappear in the shadows. I watch them for a good 30 minutes without them noticing me. The day I was on gate duty. The girl came by, I stop her car and told her I saw you. She gave me a weird look and ask what do you mean? I told her if you going to make out with your boyfriend do it inside the building or like at home. She smiles and drove away lol like she knew what I was talking about. 

It’s okay to disappear, you’ll probably see a lot of stuff and you’ll probably notice a lot of things about yourself. I like to keep people out of troubled which is why I don’t tell on them when I catch them doing something when I lurk in the shadows. 

It’s okay to disappear just make sure it’s for the right reasons and I wish you a good day.

Disappear“>Disappear

Liquid

Nice word to use, I honestly never hear it that much because people don’t even use it anymore.

But when I do hear it I think of how my daughter at the age of two already loves the water.

I never took her to the beach or pool but her mother does and tells me the things she does. When she able she will send me photos or videos of her playing in the water. I honestly can’t wait to teach her to how to swim. It’ll come in good hardy for her. I can just see her swimming everywhere with a happy face.

We all know it’s difficult to get kids to like water. Even in adult age we still dislike it but it’s never too late to enjoy the water life unless you get hit with hard rain… Not cool.

Just like her father and mother who is a good swimmer too. She loves the water and I’m happy about that. I hope your child enjoy the water and if they do never stop them!

Liquid“>Liquid

Awkward

Nice, a word I’m more familiar with. So far 2018 has been an awkward year. Not in a bad way just some stuff I seen and probably will never forget them. 

Like for an example, one of my favorite gaming steamer who I watch a few times per week. I find out yesterday she was a cam girl when she is not gaming. It was awkward watching her last night lol. I’ll never judge her because I know we all have some kind of side hustle and that’s okay. 

Or that awkward moment when you playing NBA 2k18 and someone blocks your dunk attempt in an online game of pro-am. That really do be awkward when you shot or dunk get blocks right in front of everyone but it’s always funny to watch until it happens to you.

Or that embarrassing moment when I’m doing gate duty and an employee or a visitor turn in the driveway to fast and hit the bottom of their car. When they come to the gate I give this awkward look like why lol? you didn’t learn in driving school to slow down before you make a turn? definitely when your car is low to the ground. But hey they don’t care. I laugh when it’s the same person over and over.

You going to see some awkward moments in your life. We just have our own little way of handling it. I just give you a weird look lol like no words to say. I hope we all having a good Monday so far I’m and I do wish you a good day!

Awkward“>Awkward

Narcissism

I feel like it’s always important to have self-love for yourself. You should always allow your self to come first in life because you know deep down inside you can only rely on yourself.

I notice allot people in this world don’t love themselves. Like I have this friend who I knew since 2011. Recently she has been working on her weight. Whenever she comes over she asks how her body look? I give her my honest opinion which was a good one but I can tell the comment wasn’t enough to make her happy.

She so stuck on how she looks, she totally forgot how to love herself and at this rate, she is not going to like her end results.

You also have those people who would do anything for somebody else but themselves. It’s sad to watch too.

I’m not saying you should only do for yourself but at least take time to look out for you and you only, unless you got kids. This world is to short to be trying to please everyone you cross paths with. Even for me, I learn just to treat myself besides giving people money, doing favors, taking people out because I felt bad for them and many more.

People will try to use you and it sucks but learns to make yourself a priority and those so call people who care will slowly fade away. Three so far fade away from my life and I couldn’t be any happier.

The rain came back and I’m doing a 12h shift on a gloomy day but I still wish you a good one!

<a href="Narcissism“><a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/narcissism/”>Narcissism</a&gt;