Aggressive

For the past couple of days, I have been playing this game called Fortnite Battle Royale. I always come in in the top 5 or even the top 2 and I always lose or die in some weird fashionable way and I hate it, I know I can win but I also notice one thing… I wasn’t aggressive enough.

I’ll sit there and wait in a brush and will hear you coming but I won’t kill or shoot at you. Even in the top 10 when building, hiding, and getting kills are important but you also have to move quietly so no one won’t detect you. During the match, you better farm some wood, metal, or bricks because of those materials become important at the end and you need those so you can build a good base for protection which I don’t do. But I learned I should.

I also learn I just need to go for the win, I’ve to stop sitting around and watching people battle around me when I know for a fact I can probably get a win or two or even some kills to add to my score. I notice I play too cautious as in I watch me every move which you should but at the end of the game when it’s 5 people left who all want the same goal as you and that’s to win for the very first time or just to win period, you must throw that out the window because it’s not going to help you.

One day I’ll win at this game because I know I can, I just have to DO IT! Be aggressive and take anyone out in your sight! just like in real life. Do what you can to be successful because while you at home relaxing, somebody already taking your opportunities while you wait.

Today #3

For some reason, I’m in a good mood today. Actually slept pass 9 today which is good. I’m always waking up at 7 or 8 for no reason. Took a nice morning walk to the family dollar store to get some cash for the bus and that was a pretty good walk. The weather is nice because of the cold front we had like 2 days ago and it rains like hell on those 2 days. My little brother had a job interview this morning and I’m happy for him and that means I’ll have the place to myself again.

Oh yeah, my daughter is teething again, might be a baby wisdom teeth but I guess we will see… I’m supposed to be taking her to the park but that may be canceled. Hearing her voice on the phone made me happy again, even tho she in pain. she still finds time to play or talk about random things, for a 2-year-old she sure knows allot.

I go to work soon and I feel like today is going to be a good day. It’s usually not busy on Tuesday but let me stop before I jink myself. Today I’m requesting some days off in June for the family reunion that will be held in Virginia and I’m so happy about that because it’ll be my first time ever there and I’m really can’t wait. It’ll be also be going on a plan, I’m a little worry but I’m ready.

To whoever reading this I hope you’re having a great day today!

Letter to friend #2

While I was playing Fortnite and scrolling through Facebook, I notice one of my friends was feeling down. It looks like a bad break up and her heart is broken. I honestly wanted to cheer her up with some words or at least make her less sad. This is what I wrote her–>

Oh yeah, if you have the words to make someone smile do it! It’ll definitely make their day!

You know I never met a heart like yours my friend, a heart like yours belongs to someone who can handle it and willing to protect it no matter what. You deserve to be love, care for, at all times.  The right moment will come when you meet someone patient enough to endure with you. Someone to hold your hand tightly when they out with you. A heart like yours should belong to someone who will be healed enough with the good spirit to understand and value you enough to see you as a priority. A heart like yours belongs to someone who will love you until the end of time and who is willing to keep your heart safe. A heart like yours belong to someone who was born to handle it and I feel like that heart belongs to YOU! Only you can protect your heart and heal it. You don’t need anyone to love you as long you love and care for yourself. Life too short to worry about bad guys when you’ve allotted good things going on in your life.

She texts me back said this was the sweetest thing someone wrote me in a while! thank you so much! Even though it’s almost 4 in the morning and I should be going to sleep but I feel like I’m not. May read more blogs or might play a game on my phone. Anywayz I hope ya’ll enjoy the read. Have a great night!

Why?

Me and my best friend was at the beach chilling having a conversation and this what happen. Before you read, I hope you having a good day…well Monday… But I just hope you’ve a bless day.

So last night when I return home from work, my best friend call me around 1 in the morning and ask if I wanted to hangout at the beach? I was like sure but you know we can’t park at night in the parking lot right?. She said I know and that is why we going to walk halfway there. I didn’t mind, I reach my goal of 6000 steps so it was cool walk because of the breeze. Before we walk back to her vehicle. We sat down on the sand and talk. It stop raining couple of hours ago, so the stars was outstanding and we had a better view because we was by the water with no street lights and etc. She notice my movements and ask was I high? I was going to lie and say no but I was truthful and said yes… I ask her Why? She ask me do I need to smoke before heading out every time? I said no. The last question she ask was why do you smoke before you leave the house? Like I really wanna know? If you have a answer because most of y’all don’t.( Her other friends). I told her this… I myself feel more relaxed just smoking. I don’t know why I do it. All I know I’m more happy, calm, aware and more people friendly. I even notice I laugh allot more than I do. She ask me but do you have to smoke? I thought about it for a minute and told her NO I don’t. She smile and said at least you can be yourself without the weed. My friend don’t mind the weed smoke, she also do it occasionally, she more of a drinker.

You can ask me what I learn from that night and this is my answer. I feel like my friend was trying to tell me you don’t need to smoke or do any type of drugs just to enjoy yourself when you out in public. If people can’t accept you just for you then you don’t need them as friends. I totally get what my friend was telling me without her saying the words. You can always have fun enjoying life while sober and don’t allow someone else to tell you other wise. Be free and live for you. Life is short so have fun!

A dream I’d #2

Finally I can type this dream… I’d this dream couple of days ago while I was taking a nap. First off I wanna wish every one Happy Easter! I hope we all had a good day! Back to this dream. I got home from work on Thursday around 4. I been working a busy schedule this week for work. Working 14 days straight and doing doubles can leave you tired. While I was taking my nap, watching forensic science on netflix I fell asleep. In my dream I was messing with my bike back tire. In the dream it was flat and I was squeezing it and etc but that’s in the dream. The very next day, I was going home from work on my bike. Those of you who don’t know I ride my bike day and night to work unless someone offers me a ride with is rare. When I got closer to my house my bike tire started to mess up. It got so bad I was force to get off my bike and walk the rest of the way home. Both of my tires still had air but I didn’t realize I was dragging the back tire on the sidewalk because I had my music on. Before I could turn on my street I notice my bike tire was flat and I could tell why it gotten flat. I was a little mad that it had to happen on this day because I had plans to bike ride later that night. Friday evening while I was smoking my vape, I randomly went to the bike and started to mess with my bike tire to get a better idea of why it was acting up today. Soon as I touch the tire, the memory of my dream had pop in my head. It was weird at first like oh shit I had a dream about this shit yesterday and I was a little shock. Dreams in my life had came true before but it always took a while for it to happen in real life. This dream happen immediately after I had it. My bike still broke and I’ll just buy a road bike now… Will be the third one I bought so far.

Always remember your dreams. You’ll never know when they will come true. Oh, if you’re curious of what happen to my bike it look like the wheel was bent like it got hit by a vehicle or something but I guess I’ll never know.

A letter I sent to a friend.

This is a letter I sent to a close friend of mines because she has been down lately and this is what I wrote.

Keya… I found it pretty cool that we been friends for a long time and you’ll always be my number one friend. I watch how you grow into a beautiful woman. Everything about you is perfect in my opinion and I’ll never judge you for the things you do in life. I could tell when I visit you at your job, those little kids love you even those they was probably annoying lol. I could just tell you bring some much joy to people lives and have I mentioned that you wonderful mother? I might not know everything about your life but I do know you went through alot but you always came back on top no matter what the obstacles was. I also want you to remember that I’ve allot of love for you and also many more people have love for you. I always enjoy watching your snaps because it’s so honest and funny ya know? You be having a good time too. Thanks to you there are so many restaurants I wanna visit and man you are beautiful, I know I say that alot and I feel like you going to get tired of me saying that lol but I’m going to keep saying it because it’s true. I feel like you’ve been down lately because of the words you use toward me. I do hope everything is okay and just know I’m here for ya and I hope you’re healing fast. I love you and I hope this letter cheer you up. Love Johnathan Pugh

I woke up with a text from her saying thank you so much and that it made her day. She also save it. I ask why she save it and she told when ever I’m feeling down, I’ll go back to this message and read it over and over. That made my day because I was able to make someone happy using my own words from the heart. I feel like if you got the words to make anyone day… Do It!

Random Girl

Some words I thought of while I and my best friend was talking about the people we like or notice. I was telling her that there this girl at work I’d notice when I first started working there. I notice this beautiful woman who was always in this room when I went to lock the doors in the back of the health center… it honestly was a rehab for the old residents or random people when they need to get better but I still call it the health center. The first few times I saw her I didn’t speak but I wish I should. A few months in I started to wave and she ends up speaking to me first. We talk little when we saw each other in the halls way and I came to terms that I like her. She slowly grew on me and I started liking her more and more but didn’t say nothing, didn’t do nothing, didn’t even show nothing but I should have. When I finally build up the courage to make a move. I was going to buy her some flowers and have them sent to her when she works.  But I sadly didn’t know her scheduled because it was different every week. I ask one of her co-workers that she work with sometimes and I ask her when did her friend work? she asks why? I said I wanted to buy her flowers. She gave me a crazy look and said don’t do that!! I ask why? because she got a boyfriend couple of weeks ago and she is happy. She also said you waited too late. Like she really did like you but you never ask her out. I was sad for a few days after that. I even try to avoid her at times but fail. A few months later her shift got changed to 3 to 11. This only means I saw her more throughout the day. Few days after that she was able to convince me to give her my number. I honestly didn’t expect her to call me or even text. She doesn’t text me but she calls all the time which I don’t mind. At first, I was a little uneasy because she had a boyfriend and it just didn’t felt right talking to her for hours and hours during work or even when she does a double she calls when I’m home. She never calls me when she home which is understandable. But don’t you hate that? that one person you wanted but never got because you were so shy. You hate the fact that ya’ll is talking allot but not together, on her breaks she calls you to come meet her and she spend every single break with you, even when you on break she knows and calls to hang. That’s what happens when you don’t speak up, never let the opportunity slip away when you have a chance at something. Am I going to continue to talk to her? Yes, I’m lol… sucks eh? we both agree to be cool friends or best friends. She believes since we have the same birthday we should be connected forever and yes we have the same birthday just she three years older than me. I also learn just because you like someone doesn’t mean you can’t see them as friends… No, I don’t plan on waiting for her to be single but I’ll always be there for her ya know? I remember she asks me what should she get for her boyfriend for V-day… I told her to get him what he likes. She said she didn’t know. I smile and think to myself that this going to be a long ride. I hope everyone is doing well out there and remember, go for what you like because somethings it won’t be there forever.

Just a dream I had

One day I travel back to St.Petersburg Fl just to check up on friends and family, I stayed for about 3 days at least so I can see everybody I love, or even hang with. But one night as I drive down P.park road just listening to music and enjoying my last night here for a while, I see a pretty young lady that I knew back in middle school, but we still keep in touch today. I found it odd that she was walking this late at night, So I stop and ask her what’s going on, Why you out here so late? She replies I just walking back home, I miss the city bus. I ask her how far is home? and why didn’t you ask for a ride from your friends or family? She replies that they all busy, which I understand. So I offer her a ride and she got in, she asks me where I was going? I told her, I’m going to st.pete beach, just to feel the nice sand on my feet before I head back to Orlando. She said that was cool and sound lovely on a night like this. But she also asks me how’s you and your girlfriend?(DON’T HAVE ONE IN REAL LIFE) all that advice I gave you, I hope you use it. I told her I did, and we’re well, just taking it slow that’s all. She ask why she not with you? I said she wanted to spend time with her friends and family. Well at least you understand her? don’t you? I do? why you ask? Just asking? even though we don’t see each other like that, but I do understand another Virgo. I crack a smile, maybe so, but we all can be different don’t you think? True, but let me ask you a question? since your girlfriend is out with her friends and you going to the beach alone. How about I join you? just friends. I’m sure you don’t wanna spend your last night here alone all by yourself on the beach at midnight.  Maybe true, but you don’t have any beach clothes to wear, Am I right? No, you’re wrong. I got some, I went to the pool today, they about dry. Okay, but the bathroom going to be close, how you going to change? She reply I’ll wait until you get out the car and change. May I do that or that a problem? Me no no, gone head. I won’t look. As I drive the rest of the way to the beach and we just talk and talk about life and other people and relationship problems. As we approach the beach, and she started changing her clothes. We started walking on the sand looking at stars and the bright moonlight that lite up the whole sky, we walk for hours just talking. As it comes to an end, she said, you are such a good guy, I’m not even dating you and you’re so nice to me? I wonder why? My reply was I’m just nice and I try to help as many people the best way I can even if I don’t have nothing to offer. She replies you offer your soul and respect to people which make you a good guy. Maybe one day you’ll find the right girl for you, just try harder in life is the best advice I can give you at the moment. I reply that goes the same for you. I notice your Facebook status and etc. everything going to be okay in your life. Just believe. Is that why you wear that believe bracelet all the time? Yes. but it can mean many more, as I crack a smile. But I’ll take you home now. before she went in the house, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said thank for the wonderful night. I hope your girlfriend see what she really have and I hope she doesn’t lose you. Good night Johnathan talk to ya soon. As I wake up with my damn neighbor mowing his yard…

Today 2/11

Just a little updated on my life at the moment… It’s going okay for now… My daughter broke her car seat(Again) so I had to buy a new one, that little girl is getting stronger lol… Her mother tells me she just be pulling on it and etc like how hard she be pulling it for it to break. But I think she’ll like her new one I hope, I’m just wondering how long it’s going to last. My crush call me drunk yesterday when she got to the bar… So told me she haven’t really gotten over her ex and she been single for a year now which was new to me( let me remind you I don’t really know her like that either). That was a low blow to me… like man… but i understand why she didn’t talk to me that much or wanted to hang when I ask… we did once but that was all… so now I’m debating if I should just move on ya know? there no point for me to keep liking her when there is a possibility that she will date her ex again. So I’m just going to slowly talk less to her day by day. We was planing on going to see Black Panther on Friday but I may pass and just go with the homies or my best-friend . My two brothers both had their baby 2 days apart which is cool( more kids to spoil lol). I’m happy that my daughter is a big Cousin now. I just told them both is to be a good father and be there for them no matter what. One brother had a son and one had a daughter( finally another girl in the family). I haven’t seen my mother for the past 2 or 3 weeks… her so call boyfriend( who I don’t like) was looking for her today but that’s not my business tho… try to help her and you’ll end up in jail. Job still the same… hopefully that raise was true which I doubt. Oh yeah, it was my great grandmother birthday yesterday. I found it cool my little Niece and great grandma have the same birthday. Other then that life is going smoothly at the moment. I hope everyone who reading this is having a great day! Much love!

 

It been awhile eh?

First off, I wanna say I hope everyone is having a good year so far… Mines is going okay so far…well I wouldn’t say that but for now everything is good. I caught the Flu in the beginning of the year and that shit was depressing… Like I never gotten the flu and I wouldn’t want to have it again. Had it for five days, then I had a little cough for like 2 week after the flu was over and that shit was annoying. hopefully that’s the only time I get sick. Work is going well also. My crush probably  notice me. We talk on the phone last night for like an hour and couple of minutes until her dog piss on the floor, but it was nice tho. Also, my job is giving me and my co-workers a raise which is good and it’s about time lol. Oh yeah, I bought this game call The Hunter: call of the wild… it’s a fun game and was worth the $40 bucks I spent… I feel like I grew more patient in life because of this game and it’s so relaxing. It’s just one of those chills game where you don’t have to try hard at anything. Just go around and hunt animals. I also learn different stuff from the game as well. My daughter is getting bigger, she broke her new car seat I bought couple of months ago and she can now hold a conversation on the phone/video with me. Still can’t believe she growing fast and she only two. I bought her more books to read because even now she like books with is cool with me. my friends and family is also well… Today is my good homeboy birthday today and he turn 25. Can’t believe most of us going to be 30 soon and it felt like yesterday we was chilling at the park after high school. Oh, my little brother finally got a job and he having a baby girl next month( hopefully he get out my place soon lol). But life is going well for now, I feel like something going to come up. Either way I hope you enjoy this read and yes I need to type more… been slacking.

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