What can I do? My mind is in deep thought and I don’t know what to do… I can sit here and wish that she was still single because I wanna treat her the same but that’s is not always the case. I notice I should just let time work its magic because I know deep down inside. It’s not going to last to long. I feel like my dear good old friend Tim force the issue. I can tell by her voice she wasn’t ready to date anyone. Do I still plan on being friends with her? Yes. But I’m going to give her space and probably going to talk to her when needed to be. I’ll always be there for her and be her trainer in the gym. So far I haven’t spoken to her all day. I did text her did she made it home safe because she went to dude name mark house and ate some curry chicken that was vegan. I told her to be safe and text me when you get home or back to Tim house but she never did so far. As of right now I’m at work chilling. Until then I’ll see what happens.
It hurts eh? when you like and enjoy someone but BAM! they hit you with I’m dating someone now and you just shock deep down inside but you support and said I wish you the best and I’ll always be here for you. Can you image just saying that knowing you down mean it? I had to do that tonight and it sucks so bad like I didn’t know what to say to her but it’s like she doesn’t have one because of she still so close to you? I mean she still said she going to come over still and all that but I wonder what all that means? l how should go about my day when I can’t stop thinking of her like daily even now when I’m typing this. I guess the only I can do is wait because I want her bad… I going to end this here but stay tuned to my thought
I made a new friend like a month ago. Her name is Rachel Ohmer and now I like this new friend of mines. I’m always thinking of her for some odd reason like she always there traps deep within my mind. Her eyes so beautiful that you can’t help but stare at them. Whenever I do, I always get lost in them like there some type of device controlling my every move and every word. She was able to stop me from smoking a black with an old friend of mines, one look in her eyes told me not too… later that night my friend hang out with me before he had to catch the plane back to D.C. I notice that he needed to smoke badly like he was addicted to it. He even had this half black and tried to smoke it but fail. I guess you can say she save my life there and I’m thankful for that. I also train her at the gym every Monday and Wednesday and I can tell she wants to be there. I try to convince her to add another day if she able but we see about that. She also came over one night after our gym works out. We had to take another friend home first and I was happy about that because I wanted alone time with her and that is hard to do with a certain person who name is Tim, my good friend but that is a different story. The night was perfect, we watch pretty little lairs until 6:00 in the morning. We cuddle a little toward the end and I wish I would have tried that sooner because it felt nice holding her a little. I believe she like being touch by me which is cool. we going to the gym tonight and I can’t wait… I’m going to work here because I know she can handle it.
Life can be such a pain sometimes you know? I know I should be blessed to live every day but what’s the point if you can’t have what you want? Sitting down thinking about certain people made me realized you can’t have everything you want no matter how hard you try even if you be nice to them. True they’re just friends but you wanted more. You kinda realized you were lonely. Lonely enough to fall for anybody that cross your eyes. Being lonely is a hard battle if you ask me… you try to fight it off trying to be around with different people or staying home watching random t.v shows and etc… it can really be a pain, it’s like you fighting demons because you wanna push everyone away from you and be lock up in your room all day unless you cooking or using the bathroom or leaving for work. You sit there and wonder when it’s going to end, who going to make it stop or will this pointless battle last forever… I have been out of place lately, my mind is gone 24/7 but I realize I just have to act my normal self, and that stay chilling at all times. Hanging with people who has good vibes, try to get my life back on track no matter who I meet, try to force myself to go out more and make new friends who can lift you up, all these things come to your mind so so easy, but it’s up to you if you wanna make that change. True certain people can make an impact on your life and they leave you for no reason( and no I not talking about my ex) got nothing but love for her…. but in the mean time, I’ll see how this battle go. Thank you for reading if you did.
This blog is for my thoughts through out life. Opinions and just my personal life. I might of well start sharing now.